his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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