I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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