I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
