who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
