Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am naked and annoyed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
