your thong is hanging out like whoa
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
