i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
