He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize