she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
