IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize