im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
