youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
