He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
