oh god the rape fog is back!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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