ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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