allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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