I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
