I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
