Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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