I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
