I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
