We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
