he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
