I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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