Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So squirting runs in the family.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
