Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
