It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
