He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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