Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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