seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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