How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
