How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is the high leading the old right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
