my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
