I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
