i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
