Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
