and my herpes radar will keep us safe
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
