What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
