I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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