Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
