if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
