you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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