he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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