Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
