I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
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