one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
