We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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