all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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