I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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