so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
