And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
