did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
