I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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