I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
