I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
