Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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