You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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