what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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