I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize