nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
