He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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