yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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