I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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